Deborah Potts

Emily's Entourage
 

Light The Night brings me hope for a cure. The day after Emily, my daughter, was admitted, the walk went past Sick Kid's Hospital. She got very excited that day as she was given a big flashlight light by LLSC and told that thousands of people are going to visit outside the hospital. But she also had her first surgery and chemo that day and was too sick to even go to the window and watch the walk. So her two grandmas watched the walk for her. Then the next year, Emily got discharged from the hospital the day before the walk. She was too weak to walk that year but participated in her stroller. She was re-admitted the day after the walk. The energy and community that gathers at this walk is what keeps us coming back every year. We’ve walked every year since.

My biggest challenge was seeing Emily struggle in every way possible. Not just her health, her interaction with people and school. Having to see your child go through something like that is really difficult. From Emily's perspective she just wanted to be a normal kid. She always felt she wasn't normal during and even after treatment. She just wanted to be a kid and play outside and not feel sick. Seeing her sisters outside the window while she was on the couch not being able to participate or seeing them go to school when she couldn't was really hard for her. Even not being able to jump or run and constantly being afraid to be around people, no child should have to experience this.

I don't think my life will ever be the same. Cancer changed everyone in our family especially Emily. Emily is a different child then she would have been. I am different as a Mom too, I still live with a bit of fear in the back of your mind every day. Emily will always struggle because of of receiving such intense treatment at such a young age. There isn’t a day that goes by that Emily isn’t affected in some way as a result of what she went through.

What gave me hope during Emily's treatment is all the people and support systems I had (my family, LLSC, Emily's friends from school) all the support around us is what gave us hope. Looking to the future and seeing research that was out there. Seeing that her type of cancer had a lot of research going on and the progress in survival rates. This gave me hope for other kids like Emily.

Emily is 9 years old and this year she was back in school full time, playing hockey and getting to be a normal kid. I would also say that there is so much positive research being done and try to be encouraged by the progress being made. There is so much changing everyday in the blood cancer community that gives us a lot to be hopeful for.